The Malazan book of the fallen

The Malazan book of the fallen
(Gardens of the moon - The Bonehunters )

So, you though you read it all.
You figured that keeping all of the Silmarillion history in your head made you pretty clever.
You felt that having a grasp on Jordan characters made you one helluva fantasy reader.
You believed that sorting out R.R. Martin intrigues was the top achievement of all times.
Well, the lessons just begun, people.

In a world were history goes not a thousand, but a million years back, warfare is the way of life for the Malazan army. For decades they have been conquering lands all over the world, but for what reason, not even the Empress own Adjunct seem to know. What is becoming frighteningly clear, however, is that there is a war brewing amongst Gods and ascendants (and perhaps even more powerful forces), but from an army –the only army – who encourages its soldiers to think individually, ever Gods have something to fear.
This is not classic High Fantasy – there are no elves, no dwarves, indeed not even a good side and a bad – but don’t worry. There’s T’lan Imass (undead Neanderthals), K’chain Chemal (frighteningly intelligent ‘dinosaurs’ with huge flying cities), Tiste Andi/Tiste Edur/Tiste Liosan (black/dusky/pale immortals in constant war with one another, each other, and anything/anyone else), Soultaken (people able to shift into animal form), D’ivers (people able to split their soul into many animal forms), Jaghut (I’ve no idea) demons, dragons, hell hounds, monsters, and the completely insane sappers, magicans, warlocks, assassins, witches and not-so-common human soldiers of the Malazan army. And for those whose spirit is strong enough, ascendance and perhaps even Godhood awaits, not that anyone with more than half a brain really wants it.
Because in this story, not even the dead knows peace and no God is immune to a sappers cusser.

Unlike Jordan, and lately Martin, Erikson actually have his characters doing things even after the 6000-odd pages of story. And although there’s at the very least as many main characters as in a Jordan fever dream, there is no worries that you get confused. I mean, you get confused a lot, that is the entire point of some of the plot, but you wont confuse them. Trust me, these are some of the most memorable characters you’ve ever met, human or not.
With countless side plots, a history as vast as (and expanding far beyond) our own, a main story moving as steady as a Malazan war machine, and, gods below and above, people who actually think, this story will blow you away like a sappers splinter (yeah, I really like the sappers).
It doesn’t hurt that it features my all-time favourites Anomander Rake (Tiste Andi) and Icarium (half-Jaghut, still don’t know what the other half is) are running around trying hard not to destroy the world again, not to mention the human favourites such as the sapper Fiddler, the witch Tattersails, the all-time loony high priest Pust and Mogora, his spider D’iver wife, the assassin Apsalar....well, truth to tell I like them all. Everyone of them. Including the demon Greyfrog, the Empress Larseen and the really annoying once- dead-dragons Telocrats and Cusser, whom now inhabit/possess a pair of small K’chain Chemal skeletons (complicated existence? You don’t know half of it).
So what are you waiting for? Sign up today! Empress Larseen wants you.

Book quote:
They don’t listen to me! I’m supposed to be their God, why won’t they listen to me?
Maybe they’re waiting for you to say the right thing.
Like what?
Well, whatever it is they want to hear, of course.