Orcs - the omnibus edition

Orcs, the omnibus edition **(av 5 möjliga)

On the cover of this book – which by the way is more exiting, has a better narrative and far better plot than the rest of the book – it says ”Will change your view on orcs forever”.
Well, that is true.
Sort of.
Apparently they are even dumber than I ever thought.
I can’t for the life of me understand what the author wanted with this book. Change my view on orcs? The why are they behaving according to the law ‘if you can’t solve it with violence, use more violence’? Why are they a cannibalistic, constantly stoned, argumentative lot? Am I supposed to think that they really are a nice people because there is a female orc amongst them? (There is rumoured to be female orcs even in LotR but so far, no one has dared to check ;o) I mean, that’s already my view of them!
What I DO know is that the person who recommended this to me is gonna get it big time.
One would have assumed that I should have seen this coming a mile away, since it was recommended by the owner of an orc-fan homepage (yes, they exist, yes I’m a member, and if you don’t understand why an elf-lover such as me belong to an orc fan page, well what can I say? Wake up and smell the minurvor) whom doesn’t like me for several reasons. Unfortunately I have a problem with backing away from a challenge. And, you know, the cover wasn’t all bad.

The story....well here goes.
The lands are being ripped apart and magic is becoming scarce. This seem to have something to do with the invasion of humans, at least those humans who believe in a single God, called the Unis. So what to do? Well, obviously, kill all those humans!
Unfortunately for the orcs, their specie have somehow managed to become slaves under a dreadful, half-human queen, who performs strange sexual rites on her victims (although not with the orcs, for which I’m desperately thankful) to gain more magic and battle her sisters, all of whom are trying for world domination.
One small band of orcs, called the Wolverines, are sent out to recover a magic artefact for their queen, but managed to loose it because they were all stoned out of whatever little excuse for a brain they had in the first place (yes, these are supposed to be the heroes). Now, if they go back without the artefact, they’ll probably be burned. If they try to recover it, they will be seen as deserters, chased down, and burned. And even if they do find this thing, and manage to sneak back into the fold before anyone misses them, do they really want that horrible woman to lay her long fingers on such power? The outlook is bleak to say the least.
The situation is not helped by the fact that their leader keeps getting into a dreamlike trance in which he is living happily in a world were orcs are free and happy (and probably constantly stoned, since this seems to be their chief goal in life) Might there be a chance of attaining this, perhaps with the help of the magic artefact? That is, if it doesn’t just corrupt them like it does everyone else (how in the name of Morgoth do you corrupt an orc anyway?! What can you possibly make it do that it wouldn’t just do happily anyway?)
The story is trying for High Fantasy, with a full supporting cast of centaurs, dragons and something they call elves, but the main purpose with High Fantasy i.e. telling a story is completely lost. If hack n’ slash n’ burn is your thrill, then by all means go ahead, knock yourself out. But if you want a point, a purpose, a dialog then just put it down and back away. Slowly. And don’t make any sudden moves, or it might attack.

Book quote:
Allies? We don’t have any allies! We’re orcs! (More of that self-insight and I might have liked the book a lot more.)